Out of Focus

I WASN'T WILLING TO SPEND ONE PENNY MORE THAN $1325!!

You may have heard of The Razzies. They're the annual awards "dis-honoring Hollywood's worst" achievements in film. In many ways, it's all a big joke. Anyone can join the "Golden Raspberry Award Foundation" and vote on the awards. They hold a ceremony every year in LA the day before the Oscars, and big repeat winners include Sylvester Stallone and Madonna. They even have an actual award statue which is available to any winner. If I remember correctly, only one person has ever gone to the ceremony to actually accept his award: Tom Green for Freddy Got Fingered.

This year, as you might imagine, the big winner that swept the awards was Gigli. Bennifer won plenty of awards between them, but only Affleck in his immense wisdom thought to actually acknowledge the award by trying to make fun of it. The founder of the Razzies, John Wilson, sent out an email detailing what happened from there:

Affleck complained in a radio interview last week that we had "stiffed" him by never presenting him the RAZZIES he sez he "won" for both GIGLI and PEARL HARBOR (he actually didn't "win" anything from us for PEARL HARBOR, but apparently, he thinks he should have). When I first heard about his griping, I used my contacts to get hold of the production offices for LARRY KING LIVE on CNN, where Affleck was set to appear that very evening as King's only guest. Toward the end of the hour, and with almost NO set-up by King, an unadorned RAZZIE Award (delivered to CNN by Yerz Trooly) was foisted on Ben live-on-air.

To say it didn't go well would be an understatement. Affleck held up the RAZZIE and decided it looked "kinda cheap" (which, hey, Bennie, it's SUPPOSED to!). Larry King then took it from him, declared it was "a piece of crap" -- And Affleck then offered to let Larry keep it with his "Emmys and other awards."

Once King was off the air, I quickly called their studio, arranged to retrieve the orphan object -- And quickly posted it for bid on eBay.

Well that auction finally ended on Tuesday. The bidding started at $4.89, which I believe is the actual retail value of the supplies used to glue together the award. 55 bids later, someone bought Ben Affleck's Razzie for $1,375!!

The obviously psychotic winner also gets his/her very own DVD copy of Gigli which actually must lower the retail value of the item to somewhere around -$50. Seriously though ... some people have way too much disposable income.

THE NEW AA

Blogging "The O'Franken Factor": No, not me. That would not be so entertaining. I leave the live blogging to the professionals ... like Bunsen. He's listening, recapping and filling all the holes Franken and his "professional" sidekick open.

By the way, in all my mentions of Air America, I have completely forgotten to mention their 9 AM-Noon morning show (starting tomorrow, I guess) which will go by the title "Unfiltered" and feature Public Enemy's Chuck D as one of three co-hosts along with Rachel Maddow (yeah, I don't know either) and Daily Show co-creator Lizz Winstead. I guess they want to really push the less-than-subtle message that Air America is trying to "fight the power."

IT'S TIME FOR AN INTERVENTION

Last week I posted a little congratulations to my old friend, the wonderful hopefully-soon-to-be-discovered-by-the-masses Fay Masterson for being cast in ABC's planned spinoff of The Practice. I also mentioned in that space that I used to be a really big fan of David E. Kelley. I'll go as far to say I was damn jealous of the man. So what the hell is he thinking now? A Practice spinoff featuring the one character people seem to like from that way-over-the-hill series is one thing. But according to today's Variety (subscription needed), he's now talking about developing a 1/2 hour sitcom to feature Camryn Manheim playing her Practice character Ellenor Frutt as a midseason replacement. According to Variety, the series "would have Ellenor returning home and interacting with her sisters."

Seriously, someone thinks this is a good idea? Is ABC that desperate to keep Kelley happy that they'll go along with this? Haven't we basically already seen that show when Ellen Degeneres did it a couple years ago? And that was without the complication of a previously established hard-nosed female character from a serious legal drama. And most importantly, maybe I'm alone here, but I have less than no interest at seeing Ellenor Frutt playing family sitcom. I'm sick of the character in its proper legal drama environment.

Has Kelley simply lost his mind?

GOODBYE REGGAE, HELLO PUNDITS

For all of you big WLIB 1190 AM fans in the New York area, I'm sorry to report that today at Noon, the music will be going away, but it's for a very good reason. As I mentioned a few weeks ago, today is the premiere of the Air America Radio Network, kicking off with "The O'Franken Factor." That's right folks, three hours of Al Franken making us laugh and reminding us about Big Fat Rush and "Lying Liars" on a daily basis. If you're not in New York, they're coming to an AM station near you soon. Additionally, you will supposedly be able to listen to their programming (which includes a nighttime show cohosted by Janeane Garafolo) via their website.

Franken was on with Howard Stern yesterday morning, and was absolutely hysterical not to mention informative. I will most certainly be listening. You should too. It's about time the Limbaughs and Hannitys of the airwaves had someone shouting as loud in the opposite direction.

THANK GOODNESS WE'RE WINNING THE WAR

Nice! I guess there are some in Iraq who want to celebrate 11-years since Somalia, and even do one "better." To use a cliche ... it's hearts and minds, people. Hearts and minds.

WHAT'S NEXT ... ACTUAL BODILY POSSESSION?

I saw a really disturbing program on MTV this weekend: I Want a Famous Face. I really shouldn't be surprised. This is just a natural progression of MTV shows that started with Fanatic, continued through Becoming and Crib Crashers and has now reached this point. I suppose with the success of a show like Extreme Makeover and the pending arrival of Fox's The Swan, it just makes sense that permanent plastic surgery would be the next step for MTV.

I always found Fanatic to be a really scary show. Basically, people (read: teenagers) would send videos into MTV explaining why they were some music personality/group's biggest fan. They would be surprised at home or at work, given a bunch of gifts and then whisked away to actually meet their idol. The celebrity worship exposed on this show and the degree to which these fans lives seemed to completely revolve around the objects of their affections was not really the best reflection of our society. On the other hand ... they were teenagers. Most people grow out of that kind of blind-faith idol worship.

WILL & ... ZZZZZZZZZZ

The show is called Will & Grace so how the hell does the "Grace" half of the title miss the last three episodes of the season. I've hated this show for at least the last two years now for a very simple reason: it's not funny. Maybe that's in part because the title characters are the least interesting and useful members of the cast. Maybe it's because every joke is cliche. Maybe it's because the comical supporting cast turned into slapstick broad characters who's every action and line is utterly predictable. All I know is the smart writing this series had in its beginning disappeared, and this became a show with nothing but stupid stunt casting and ridiculous storyline. Hmmm ... maybe Debra Messing actually has the right idea.

IF IT WEREN'T SO GREAT, THE "NEW JOB" WOULD BE RUINING MY LIFE

Opening disclaimer: I am so happy with my new, albeit temporary, place of employment. It's just such a better situation than my regular job which gives me Office Space flashbacks on a daily basis. So I'm really not complaining.

BUT (like you didn't know that was coming), it has completely affected my blogging ability. There have been plenty of little items about which I've been meaning to write; I just haven't had time to get to them. But more importantly, my ability to read all everyone else out there (most specifically, the continuously growing list you see to the right) has been dramatically curtailed. For example, I just don't have time to get through my "Morning Coffee" every day.

That's why I am once again so damn thankful for the existence of TMFTML. He manages to make me laugh plenty, but more importantly, was it not for him, I totally would have missed this absolutely hysterical piece from "The Morning News" which made me laugh so hard that one of my seven office mates (we share a 15x15 room ... pretty sweet, no?!) thought I was reacting to something she had just said. I know that I've never come close to rocking it like Gary Benchley; I've also never experienced the climax he does here. Thank God, Jesus, Allah, Brian, Mel ... whoever!

And by the way, while you're over there, you should also check out Choire Sicha's important scientific breakthrough. Apparently, it's still a developing theory.

DOES THIS MEAN I'M GROWING UP? NOOOOOOOOO!!!!

I have issues. Many are age-related as in there's no way I can be as old as I am. I was telling someone yesterday about my best friend who is about a year-and-a-half older than me but easily a good 10 years more mature. I'm sure my ridiculous TV addiction is in some way attributable to my desire to move no further into my 30s. I mean, I'm soon going to be as old as Jesus was when he died, and do I have a whole group of followers ready to devote themselves to me? No. So obviously, I have not accomplished nearly enough.

I only bring this up because I've recently discovered that my adolescent television tastes seem to be waning. I emphasize "waning" as opposed to "waned," but I still find it troubling. I've long been a fan of WB shows and most reality TV. I've usually received some sort of pleasure (at least a degree of schadenfreude) from even the worst shows -- from both content and production standpoints -- like Mr. Personality and Paradise Hotel. But recently, I discovered I just can't take it anymore.

As reported yesterday in The Hollywood Reporter, Fox is switching around some of its programming. I've heard conflicting things, but this morning I read via Cynopsis (verified by the schedule grid on the Fox website) that the network has pulled Playing It Straight from the schedule (to air the series in its entirety probably this summer, like it did with either the second Joe Millionaire or Temptation Island ... I forget) and moved Forever Eden into an even worse timeslot than its held previously, Fridays at 9 PM. In part, this was to open up a Thursday 9 PM (similarly death-knell) slot for Wonderfalls. Basically, Fox is looking to kill all there underperforming shows, but that's never stopped me from watching before.

This time was different. I tried watching Forever Eden, and I really just could't take it. This weekend, I tried watching Playing It Straight; I had all three episode DiVoed. But 20 minutes in to the first one, I was in agony. The show is such a ridiculously poor production, so poorly pieced together with yet another annoying announcer from hell guiding us, I just couldn't take it. Aside from the fact that I don't really need yet another TV series to follow, it was just so god-awful that the idea of actually "having better things to do" overcame my usual prediliction to giddily enjoying the humiliation of others. This didn't happen with the original Paradise Hotel. I had no problem complaining about as I watched every minute of the Lewinsky-hosted Mr. Personality. I'm sure I've blocked out at least 3 other horrendous reality-series that I stuck with religiously from beginning to end. I relished both the first Surreal Life and High School Reunion; why have I not been able to watch/stomach the sequels?

So what's going on? Has the "quality" of these series themselves really gone downhill? Have they simply become too repetitive? Or ... please no, please no, please no ... has TV started to release it's dear sweet hold on me? Hell, I stuck with Dawson until the end, but I can't take 5 minutes of its obvious replacement, slowly becoming an unfathomable hit in its own right.

Oh no ... I'm scared.

NOT NECESSARILY SO STRANGE

The big casting news of the day according to the trades (via Yahoo!) seems to be that Jack Black will star opposite Naomi Watts in Peter Jackson's new version of the ape epic King Kong. Black will play the character who wants to capture Kong and exhibit him in New York.

At first glance, I thought to myself: Black as a non-ironic or humorous villain? Is he right for a fairly straight-forward role not meant for laughs? Granted, I don't know how Jackson intends to to make this picture, but I don't believe he's planning to have a hyperactive slapstick clown as the main antagonist.

And then I realized I was being stupid. (A fairly common occurrence.) Although Black has achieved his fame through his "band" Tenacious D and comic roles in films like High Fidelity and The School of Rock, Black is actually a much more versatile actor than he's been given an opportunity to show.

I started in the theatre department at UCLA back in 1988. (Obviously, I was a genius to be starting there at the young age of 5!) My first year there, Black was also a student. I never socialized with him, and I'm not sure if we ever actually met; by the end of my first year, I'm pretty sure he had left school (but don't take my word for that), and I'm certain he wouldn't know who I am or remember me from back then. But I've always remembered that Black was one of the most talented actors I had ever seen. In fact, several people who attended UCLA theatre at the same time as I have gone on to bigger and better things and achieved some degree of notoriety, or at the very least are making their livings as actors, but with only a couple exceptions, if I saw them actually perform at UCLA, I don't remember. I know I only saw Black in a couple things, but they weren't comedies, and he was always phenomenal. I'm glad the visionary Jackson will give the world a chance to see that Black can play more than just the ADHD-afflicted characters we've come to know and love.